People made fun of Gwyneth Paltrow for using the term "conscious uncoupling" to describe her divorce. In fact, she even derided the term herself later on, but that shouldn't diminish the thoughts and theory behind it. This divorce approach works especially well in helping the children through this challenging time full of changes over which they otherwise have little to no control.
Couples here in California and elsewhere in the country don't have to rely on the traditional and adversarial courtroom divorce any longer. If you fear that you will come out of your divorce in a bad place, you should know it doesn't have to be that way.
You could use collaborative divorce instead
If you and your future ex-spouse decide to avoid the traditional courtroom divorce and want a kinder, non-confrontational way to end your marriage, you could choose collaborative divorce. This method of conscious uncoupling provides you with the opportunity to divorce in a way that can leave everyone feeling less stressed, healthier (psychologically and physically) and more satisfied.
It's important to remember that your actions during this time provide the framework for your post-divorce relationship with the other parent. Collaborative divorce puts the emphasis on moving forward in a more amicable and, perhaps, even loving way. This lays a better foundation for cooperation and compromise in the future, which not only benefits the parents, but the children as well.
You will not only have access to experienced and compassionate attorneys, but also other professionals to help you make the best decisions possible for your family. Even though the marriage is ending, you remain a family since you have children. Acknowledging this fact is often the first step toward making the choice to use this or another method that allows you to stay out of the courtroom.
You could end up with a more satisfying divorce settlement
Many California couples who use collaborative divorce for their conscious uncoupling reach a divorce settlement with which both individuals are satisfied. You may even find that both of you are willing to be more generous to the other. The process works to remove any negativity that could interfere with a smooth transition into your new lives.
At one time, the two of you loved each other, and that doesn't have to disappear. Even though you may no longer be "in love," you can acknowledge there remains a different kind of love and respect for each other that you may not have thought possible when all of this began.