When you and your spouse talk about your upcoming divorce, do you feel like it sometimes turns hostile? You want to get along and you want this to all go smoothly, but it just feels like every conversation devolves into an argument.
If so, you may simply want to change your communication methods. It can make a world of difference.
What is best for you?
There is no one way to communicate that is best. It all depends on what works best for you.
For instance, some couples find it harder to talk in person. It’s just too emotional, and that’s when they tend to disagree and argue. Subtle little issues with your spouse’s vocal inflections or facial movements can set you off. You may find that it’s easier to talk in text or on the phone, where you can exchange necessary information — about the divorce, about the kids, etc — without seeing things escalate.
On the other hand, something called the online disinhibition effect makes some people act more aggressively in a digital discussion than they would face-to-face. You may find that your spouse is calm and understanding when you talk in person, but they tend to rant and insult you if you chat online or through text. In that case, in-person meetings can help to keep things civil.
It doesn’t have to be a battle
The thing to keep in mind is that divorce doesn’t have to be a battle. With mediation and other such options, your divorce can go smoothly and be a low-stress process. Carefully consider all of the options you have.