Westlake Village California Family Law Blog

Making a decision to divorce is typically an emotional experience on many levels. Many California spouses start proceedings with a decade or more of married life under their belts. Especially when spouses have children together, divorcing after a lengthy marriage brings many changes and challenges to those involved. Good parents are always concerned with their children's well-being; in divorce, worries often surface concerning child support issues.  

It's understandable that finances would be a high priority for a spouse entering a new lifestyle as a single parent. Many California households include two parents who both earn incomes. When one of those incomes is suddenly removed from the equation, the parent with whom children are residing after divorce may worry whether he or she will be able to meet expenses to provide for the children's needs.  

When filing for divorce in California or any other state, a spouse must choose a particular course of action as a means toward the end. Some situations involve litigation, especially if a communication breakdown has occurred between spouses or an extenuating circumstance, such as suspected hidden assets, has arisen. For spouses who get along well enough to have civil discussions and negotiate fair settlements, divorce mediation may be possible. 

The mediation process is intended to help the parties execute fair settlement agreements without going to court. Each spouse retains his or her own legal representation for mediation meetings. A neutral third party acts a facilitator to keep discussions focused and progressing in a satisfactory and timely manner.  For divorcing spouses who are parents, mediation can often help lessen the blow of divorce on children because the kids witness their parents' willingness to get together and talk things out to come up with a fair plan that keeps their own best interests in mind.

Going through a divorce is often a time of hurt and anger. Everything you valued and depended on is changing, and you are understandably having a difficult time. If your emotions are high and your nerves on edge at this point in the process, you may imagine yourself gearing up for a raging battle in a California courtroom.

That might suit you fine. In fact, it is easy to imagine the sense of satisfaction you might feel if you can inflict the same pain on your spouse that you are currently feeling. However, psychologists warn divorcing couples that the release of negative emotions may feel good in the moment, but it may also continue generating negative consequences long past the signing of the divorce decree.

Like most good parents in California or elsewhere, you are willing to make sacrifices for your children's sakes. Most parents can relate to setting aside personal goals or plans, or changing jobs, locations or other lifestyle situations when they determine it's in their children's best interests to do so. When divorce occurs, most parents paying child support do their best to make payments on time and otherwise adhere to existing court orders regarding their parenting plans.  

Complications can arise, however, if one parent refuses to cooperate or obey the court's decision. Problems may also occur if, for instance, a parent paying child support is suddenly unable to make payments because of a job loss or some other major financial crisis. While it's often possible to petition the court for a modification when necessary, it is never acceptable to stop making payments before modification is granted.